Tuesday, March 07, 2006

A Personal Prayer

You comforted me in my dreams last night. I don't remember them completely, but I do know that You did something. My concerns, my worries, my doubts, my frustrations--all were taken by You. My heart has set itself on letting go, but I know I could not have done so without the prompting of Your Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit--He has allowed my heart to let go.

By Your Grace. How can I live otherwise? How can I live a life without enjoying every moment under the truth of who You are? What is life apart from Christ?

Vast emptiness and misdirection, blindness and stumbling; treading just enough to keep my head above water. But there you are standing as my legs kick incessantly. With Your arm outstretched, waiting for me to grab hold and stand there along side of You. I don't believe You can save me; I don't believe You are really there; I can not see Your hand, nor hear Your voice.

It is only when I am raised up that I realize You have been there the whole time! And for what reason? Why would You come out onto the waters and rescue me from my own selfishness?

I ran away. I saw the ocean and I thought it could be more pleasing than You.
But I couldn't swim. I knew I couldn't swim. I ran in anyway.

The water seemed so cool and refreshing, just what I was looking for. I thought I had made the right choice. Then my feet lost their footing in the sand as the water seemed to rise everso quickly. What once just rushed over my feet now in an instant convered my entire body as waves would come down over me, constantly crushing my head. I would come up for a little air, look around and see nothing. Nothing. I was lost. I was dying.

But by Your Grace You came after me.
By Your Grace You came out onto the waters to rescue me, to restore me.
By Your Grace You stretched out Your hand and pulled me from my death.

Little did I know that You had once been in my place. I didn't know that You had sacrificed Yourself taking on the death I was so afraid of. You went out into these waters before, not out of rebellion, but out of obedience. You desired not to tread for You knew that You would one day rise and stand on these waters, saving me and so many others from the death You allowed Yourself to experience.

Your death has saved me from death.
Your life has brought me into life.

When did I become worthy of that? When was I ever good enough for that?

Now that Grace has come upon me and I live under the laws of Grace, what do I do? Am I compelled to obey? Did not Christ obey? Was it not by the same Holy Spirit that I am now alive by the Grace of God? Your Grace in my life produces love and this love wants to obey You. Obedience should not only please and give glory to You; it should also please me knowing that I am giving to You the glory You alone deserve.

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