Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Killed Him

I came to the end of the Gospel of Mark this morning in my reading. This tells the historical events of Jesus' last days, including his crucifixion. While reading Mark 15 I was reminded that I cried out loud with the crowds, Σταύρωσον αὐτόν -- "Crucify him!" The echoes of these cries reverberated in my head and were sent down into the pit of my stomach because I could hear my own voice. One of the greatest problems of humanity is that we are so prideful to think we do not have it in us to kill "good people." If Jesus were to walk in this world today would he be loved or hated? My guess is that he would be hated. Why? Because he was convicted by objective truth and taught out of that conviction. He claimed that the core institution of our society, the family, would split over him. He claimed he was the only way to know God.. He claimed authority to cast out demons and heal people and raise people from the dead.  

A woman has committed adultery. She is continuing to live in that sin. Her husband tries to love her as best he can throughout the whole time. Her response to his love is nothing but disgust and hatred. She says she doesn't want to have anything to do with him or his love. She's lied repeatedly. She's tried to steal from him. She says that she wants to leave and that his love is pushing her away. I do not think it is a far stretch to believe that at some point she probably wished he was dead so that she wouldn't have to deal with him and his love anymore so she could just go on with her life.

This is what happens when darkness is exposed by the light.

At first it will try to hide, stay in the dark. If that can't happen darkness will try to fight, avoid, push away, and eventually kill the light. We are all capable of what this woman did to her husband. We are all capable of murderous intentions. Jesus Christ is the light of the world. He loves as the Most Perfect Husband. I am not crazy at all to think that we as the adulterous wife would gladly cry out "Crucify Him!" if it meant we could go back to our lover.

But God shows his love for us in that  while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Christ's death is no mere example of sacrifice. He died for me despite me. It is a death that brings about true and everlasting reconciliation between the faithless Bride and the faithful Bridegroom. Christ's death and resurrection draws his Bride back.

We don't need to hide anymore. Living in darkness is not where we are meant to be. When our sin ceases to satisfy, when our lovers fail to give us all that we desire, we know that our Groom is waiting patiently and lovingly, with forgiveness in his heart. He will tell us that he took our sin and our death so that we can turn to him and have life. I killed Jesus and through it he has rescued me.

By His Grace.

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